Hello, gentle readers. Let's get right to it, shall we? As of this past Monday (minus a half-walk that morning), I walked 18 1/2 miles, ate properly, went to the gym every night and only ate half the carton of ice cream afterwards. After Thursday night's workout, I kicked off my sneakers (which weigh about 2 1/2 pounds themselves) and stepped onto a plateau (I mean, the scale). 335 pounds like last week. Nothing lost, nothing gained. Good enough.
The bad part hit while I was driving from the gym to the supermarket. I started thinking: what more can I do to start losing weight again? Could I get up even earlier in the morning and do two full walks a day again? Cut back even more on my eating? Keep a food journal? And as all of these thoughts raced through my mind, I was brought back to my immediate surroundings when I realized I'd pulled into the wrong lane to go to the wrong supermarket (I needed to get gas at the other one).
Later that evening, after literally coming back to my senses after a well-balanced dinner of chicken breast and egg noodles with gravy and some Brussels sprouts, I took a moment to reflect on my perceived lack of progress and resulting frantic thoughts to how to redouble my efforts. I though about what a rigorous routine I'd already set for myself over the past seven months that's kept me moving from about 6:30 in the morning to 9 at night five days a week, walking 5-7 miles a day and alternately working out 45 minutes to an hour and a half where the only variation besides skipping the gym Friday nights was going there in the mornings on the weekends after a full walk and occasionally skipping the night walk to rest after doing my laundry or to have some semblance of a social life.
And now, as Winter is on its way and people are preparing to enjoy the holiday season, just as our pagan ancestors celebrated at Yule (Winter Solstice) the Earth Mother's rebirth of the Sun God at Yule to keep the darkness and loneliness of the fallow months at bay as they rested from their labors, after all the hard work and commitment I've put into making myself more attractive, healthier and stronger, I chose to ask myself a very important question that required several answers: WHAT MORE CAN I DO?
Q: WHAT MORE CAN I DO regarding exercise?
A: Absolutely nothing. I'm doing too much as it is. Besides working full-time, exercise presently eats up 3-4 hours of my weekdays with walking, working out and driving to and from the gym. While I am okay with that to some degree, it only leaves me about two hours in the evening to eat and relax before I go to sleep to start the process all over the next day, and there is no way in Hades I'm going to lose an extra hour of sleep or risk being late for work in the morning to fit in another full walk.
Q. WHAT MORE CAN I DO regarding eating?
A. Absolutely nothing. Why would I start cutting back on food when I feel physically hungrier this time of year? I could see some cause for alarm if I was bingeing and staying sedentary, but I'm not. I'm still walking morning and evening and working my muscles, but I actually need some energy to keep moving and that's where the food comes in. Food journal? Yeah, let's add one more thing to my busy schedule that I need to micromanage. That can go to Hades with that other hour of sleep I won't be missing in the mornings.
Q. WHAT MORE CAN I DO to keep moving forward with my weight loss efforts?
A: Less. The more I can do for myself is LESS. Crazy, huh? Amazing what pops up in your mind when you actually take a moment to listen. I've been pushing myself to reach weight loss goals, increase weight and repetitions on my workouts and stick to a food plan of my own creation that helped me lose weight until my struggles began this Fall. The struggle to get through the last weeks of a job that was no longer good for me. The struggle to assimilate a new job that won't last. Most importantly, the struggle to keep my Summer self as Winter approaches, and it's that last struggle that finally woke me up just as many other people are starting to fall asleep.
I'm a Bear, people. I'm not supposed to eat like a Bird or run perpetually on a wheel like a Hamster. On the one paw, I have a partner who loves me very much and several Bear friends who think I look great just the way I am, don't quite understand why I'm putting forth all this effort and kinda hope I don't lose too much weight, but support me anyway. On the other paw, I have a few friends who think the whole Bear thing is cute like my other idiosyncracies and have patted me on the back for my successes in losing weight but don't quite quite agree with how I'm going about all of this or understand why I only want to get to 300 pounds and seem a little worried I'll fall off the wagon and gain it all back plus, but support me anyway. I have to take or leave what they say on a regular basis because when it comes right down to it, I'm the one walking or working out alone, and I'm the one who decides whether he's putting the rest of the ice cream back in the fridge at night. I'm doing or not doing all of this by myself, for myself.
The bad part hit while I was driving from the gym to the supermarket. I started thinking: what more can I do to start losing weight again? Could I get up even earlier in the morning and do two full walks a day again? Cut back even more on my eating? Keep a food journal? And as all of these thoughts raced through my mind, I was brought back to my immediate surroundings when I realized I'd pulled into the wrong lane to go to the wrong supermarket (I needed to get gas at the other one).
Later that evening, after literally coming back to my senses after a well-balanced dinner of chicken breast and egg noodles with gravy and some Brussels sprouts, I took a moment to reflect on my perceived lack of progress and resulting frantic thoughts to how to redouble my efforts. I though about what a rigorous routine I'd already set for myself over the past seven months that's kept me moving from about 6:30 in the morning to 9 at night five days a week, walking 5-7 miles a day and alternately working out 45 minutes to an hour and a half where the only variation besides skipping the gym Friday nights was going there in the mornings on the weekends after a full walk and occasionally skipping the night walk to rest after doing my laundry or to have some semblance of a social life.
And now, as Winter is on its way and people are preparing to enjoy the holiday season, just as our pagan ancestors celebrated at Yule (Winter Solstice) the Earth Mother's rebirth of the Sun God at Yule to keep the darkness and loneliness of the fallow months at bay as they rested from their labors, after all the hard work and commitment I've put into making myself more attractive, healthier and stronger, I chose to ask myself a very important question that required several answers: WHAT MORE CAN I DO?
Q: WHAT MORE CAN I DO regarding exercise?
A: Absolutely nothing. I'm doing too much as it is. Besides working full-time, exercise presently eats up 3-4 hours of my weekdays with walking, working out and driving to and from the gym. While I am okay with that to some degree, it only leaves me about two hours in the evening to eat and relax before I go to sleep to start the process all over the next day, and there is no way in Hades I'm going to lose an extra hour of sleep or risk being late for work in the morning to fit in another full walk.
Q. WHAT MORE CAN I DO regarding eating?
A. Absolutely nothing. Why would I start cutting back on food when I feel physically hungrier this time of year? I could see some cause for alarm if I was bingeing and staying sedentary, but I'm not. I'm still walking morning and evening and working my muscles, but I actually need some energy to keep moving and that's where the food comes in. Food journal? Yeah, let's add one more thing to my busy schedule that I need to micromanage. That can go to Hades with that other hour of sleep I won't be missing in the mornings.
Q. WHAT MORE CAN I DO to keep moving forward with my weight loss efforts?
A: Less. The more I can do for myself is LESS. Crazy, huh? Amazing what pops up in your mind when you actually take a moment to listen. I've been pushing myself to reach weight loss goals, increase weight and repetitions on my workouts and stick to a food plan of my own creation that helped me lose weight until my struggles began this Fall. The struggle to get through the last weeks of a job that was no longer good for me. The struggle to assimilate a new job that won't last. Most importantly, the struggle to keep my Summer self as Winter approaches, and it's that last struggle that finally woke me up just as many other people are starting to fall asleep.
I'm a Bear, people. I'm not supposed to eat like a Bird or run perpetually on a wheel like a Hamster. On the one paw, I have a partner who loves me very much and several Bear friends who think I look great just the way I am, don't quite understand why I'm putting forth all this effort and kinda hope I don't lose too much weight, but support me anyway. On the other paw, I have a few friends who think the whole Bear thing is cute like my other idiosyncracies and have patted me on the back for my successes in losing weight but don't quite quite agree with how I'm going about all of this or understand why I only want to get to 300 pounds and seem a little worried I'll fall off the wagon and gain it all back plus, but support me anyway. I have to take or leave what they say on a regular basis because when it comes right down to it, I'm the one walking or working out alone, and I'm the one who decides whether he's putting the rest of the ice cream back in the fridge at night. I'm doing or not doing all of this by myself, for myself.
I have no plans of hibernating through Winter or quitting cold turkey (mmm, cold turkey). Thanksgiving's two days away, and I'm looking forward to sitting down with my family and having a great meal after I've walked, worked out and weighed-in at the gym (which is graciously open until noon). I will walk when I can, lift weights when the roads are clear to the gym and eat sensible meals in between festive occasions.
Desiderata, one of my favorite poems, says this among many other wonderful things: "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself." I need to remember that there's a mind and spirit inside this body too, and since there's a lot more to me than just a big Bear trying to lose weight, this blog's gonna change right along with me. Stay tuned...
Good night, woof, and blessed be.
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