Saturday Night Weigh-In: Getting my Bearings (Two Weeks and Two Days Later)

Hello, gentle readers. It's a little after 11 pm here on Monday night so I'm even starting this blog entry two days later than its title, but I haven't blogged in awhile and wanted to give a brief synopsis of recent events leading to my most recent weigh-in (yes, two weeks and days late). When we last left the Big Bear, he was trying his best to maintain his sanity rather than weight loss and workout routines in struggling to finish his remaining duties before leaving his current place of employment. The day after my last weekly weigh-in of 329 pounds, when I found five of the six pounds I previously lost, I came home to find a voicemail from a staffing service asking if I was available for a senior level executive assistant position with a local university, but it was too late to respond that day. After enjoying a Halloween-themed baby shower on Saturday for the pregnant blogger who inspired me to start this blog and seeing Paranormal Activity (the movie; not actual activity) on Sunday, I returned their call on Monday, was told someone was being sent out on Tuesday and if she didn't work out, I would still be considered for the position.

Upon calling back Wednesday, they needed me to start tomorrow. This left me in the rather awkward position of having to explain to the four women in my department during my farewell lunch that not only would I have to leave two days early to start my new job, I also had to leave early two hours after said lunch for my last doctor's appointment covered by health insurance scheduled to lapse on Halloween! I had a delicious BBQ rib and chicken combo plate, received a card and gift card to Barnes and Noble, made the announcement which was thankfully accepted with kindness and understanding, did my best to straighten up my desk and affairs before leaving at 3:30, and got a clean bill of health from my doctor: blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol were great, keep up the good work and see you in four months, hopefully with renewed insurance. I went home, climbed into bed and slept in prep for the next day.

First. Days. SUCK! I took notes and tried to comprehend my new duties because my supervisor would be out the next day and starting her new position elsewhere on Monday, and after struggling with all this new input, I went home, ate dinner and embraced the oblivion of sleep. I welcomed the weekend with open arms, getting some new books and having a celebratory dinner with a good friend on Friday, having lunch with my mom and taking her to see Paranormal Activity on Saturday afternoon (glad I'd seen it already because she became nauseous a half-hour in due to the jerky camera movements and we left), and going to the home of a co-worker (who opted for early retirement and left a week earlier than me) to celebrate Halloween. She is an excellent cook: the fondue with Texas toast for dipping, pork tenderloin and potatoes she prepared were delicious and the candy was as good to me as it was to the trick-or-treaters. I opted not to celebrate the Witches' sabbat of Samhain and ring in the Celtic New Year this time, but I had a great time with my two friends and went to bed after the witching hour that night with a smile on my face.

After an extra hour of sleep on Sunday, I traveled to Queens for a meeting of the Bear Den, a social group for Bears that I've attended since its inception this April. I dressed up as a pirate as I was one in a previous incarnation according to one of my past life regressions. I don't think I quite looked like this back on the Barbary coast, but I felt good about my choice of costume:

Blackbear(d) the Pirate

Pirate's Booty (Bear Head and Crossbones! Grrr! Aargh!)

After the Den, I piled three other Bears into my car and headed over to the Eagle, a revered leather bar in Manhattan, for an evening with the BigMuscleBears (a website for, you guessed it, big muscle Bears who like to add stats like arm and chest width to their profiles). I spent $2 checking my leather jacket, $5 on a diet coke and stood around with said friends for two hours chatting, Bearwatching and actually feeling comfortable for the first time ever in a gay bar until a really cool cloud of white smoke came billowing from the DJ's booth that soon made it hard to breathe, stung the tongue to taste and effectively cleared the room! I took this as a good sign to drive the two hours home and get some sleep, a melancholy return to the Real World after a fun weekend or vacation that I forlornly call "falling back up the rabbit hole."

The next work week was daunting. I received a campus ID but as a "casual employee" (temp) I am unable to use it to enter the building I work in; missed the timesheet deadline by a day and therefore won't receive my first check by mail until this Saturday (hopefully); and was unable to find free parking anywhere. When I tried to work with the Parking Department to get a permit and have the fees deducted from my pay on a sliding scale, the staffing service wouldn't agree to it so I am partially working to just afford to park at work. During a meeting with an IT technician, my supervisor also made it clear that he wanted my computer configured so that I, who was there to "help out for a couple of weeks," and whoever will replace me will be able to use the computer for their clerkship. All week I did my job, went home, had a nice meal, put my brain in a jar to relax until the next day, enjoyed a bit more ice cream at night than usual, got plenty of rest and left my exercise and eating habits on hold for awhile.

When this weekend arrived and I had no plans, I knew it was time to get back on track, which was where I was thinking about this latest blog entry during my second full walk on Saturday right before going to the gym for my workout and weigh-in. I originally thought about "getting back on the horse," but a memory made that analogy rather inappropriate. During my orientation week for college in 1988, us new students were invited to a local resort for a meet and greet picnic complete with swimming pools, group games and horseback riding. For reasons still fresh from high school (see my "Fitting In at Planet Fitness" entry for more details), I opted for the latter of the three, but much like seats in theatres and on certain amusement park rides, there is an element of risk in attempting to enjoy such things and discovering you don't quite fit and I was told in no uncertain terms by the horse wrangler that I would not be saddling up that day. So instead of getting back on the horse, I am getting my bearings; much more apropos for a blog such as this.

After walking seven miles and doing a full upper body circuit, I stepped on the scale and faced the music. 333 pounds, people. Gained four pounds over the past two weeks, about two pounds a week, and I now weigh one pound more than I did when I started this blog. I gave myself a vacation from exercising and eating less for a couple of weeks as part of having fun during a time of great stress, gained about two pounds a week (which is generally what physicians recommend you lose a week), and as of the end of this blog entry I have done at least a full walk and a circuit at the gym every day since Saturday and will resume my Thursday weigh-ins this week. Since my new job feels more manageable now, it's time to get back to the Good Work I've been doing for myself, and even though I'm not a big muscle Bear (yet) and don't feel the need to go horseback riding again anytime soon, I think my Bear butt looked pretty darn good in those boxers!