For the first time in my life, about five years after I began my actual membership, I am going to the gym at least five times a week. I decided recently to give myself Friday night, the night after my weekly weigh-in and the end of my work week, off from the gym and on occasion, either due to fatigue, the lateness of the hour or scheduled engagements, I take another night off, but I always make sure to return with an upper body circuit because that's where I need the most work. I often tell people that if the rest of my body was as strong and muscular as my calves I'd be a happy Bear, but since it's not, off to the gym I go.
As blogged before, I lost weight the first time by sticking to a food plan and the second by watching my food intake and walking daily, but this time I added working out to the mix. I decided to join the gym back in 2004 when I returned home to live with my parents and a Planet Fitness was preparing to open in a sports center a 1/4 mile down the street from their house. This was a bit daunting for several reasons.
Let's take a very short trip in the Wayback machine for a moment. Bluntly, I was a fat gay cub back in high school who was ashamed of my body and sexuality and tried my best to blend into the woodwork. However, you can't do that in gym class. Why?
Formula #1: Fat Kid + Basketball = Skins. Since I have spoken to three women who didn't know what I was talking about, here's an explanation: in boys' gym class, the teams for basketball are "shirts" and "skins"; one team wears shirts, the other doesn't. So I had to face the snickers and taunts of Abercrombie classmates as I was forced to expose my pale, backne-scarred flesh to the rest of the class which jiggled as I was actually expected to participate in the game.
Formula #2: Gym + Fat Kid - Showers = Terrified Sweaty Smelly Fat Kid. Thankfully, only once was I forced by a disgusted gym coach (who I had a crush on!) to take a shower with the rest of the class, and the resulting snide comments and hyperventilation under a freezing cold spray was my personal equivalent of a similar shower scene in Carrie. It would have been nice if the stress had caused my telekinesis to kick in, but instead from these two formulas I just developed a grave dislike for physical fitness and those to whom it came naturally.
I acknowledge my gym class experiences could have been immeasurably worse as a teen and I was lucky to have been spared such horrors, but with the distance and healing that 18 years and five therapists provided, I sat in an office under construction one April afternoon day with a trainer named Jason and went over a relatively inexpensive membership plan for Planet Fitness, a gym that would soon open and had just begun a franchise. I arrived shortly after the grand opening and he taught me the upper body and leg/stomach circuits that I still use today. We later had a parting of the ways when he copped an attitude after I suggested the track on the treadmill I'd been using might need a shot of silicone spray to stop squeaking, but he was gone when I returned to the Planet this April and the treadmills don't squeak anymore either!
I did the usual you might expect from a new gymgoer: signed up, used the gym intermittently for a couple of months, then stopped and continued to pay my monthly fee for years without attendance. When I finally returned it took me about a month to refamiliarize myself with the equipment and feel comfortable being there, but during a week of vacation work in May I began working out six days a week and upping the weight and repetitions every six weeks, as I will do again tomorrow. I got bit by the gym bug, and as a Former Fat Kid (FFK; wow, what an appropriate sounding acronym!) I couldn't have asked for a better gym to "fit in."
First of all, Planet Fitness is marketed as a "Judgement Free Zone," believes its members should not be judged by others due to their size or skill level, and is not geared toward bodybuilders or powerlifters. There are also 13 rules of etiquette that their franchises adhere to (for the most part). Here they are with my personal comments in italics:
1. A "lunk alarm" (a siren with a spinning red light) is on the wall and will supposedly be set off by management when a member a) drops weights; b) "grunts" when lifting; or c) judges another member. Dropping weights and grunting are at a minimum in my location (although there was a big brouhaha in Wappingers Falls, NY in which a corrections officer had his membership revoked for grunting), and I've never heard anyone being judgmental towards another member unless it was harmless goading between workout buddies.
2. The banning of grunting, swearing and psyching-up rituals. Little grunting and no psyching-up rituals, but plenty of intermittent low-decibel swearing, some of it from me!
3. No cell phone use on the gym floor. Right above the front desk it's clearly printed that except for the lobby area, the place is a cell phone-free zone, but this is not enforced and often broken. Whatever.
4. The banning of excessive noise from bar drops, etc., e.g. Olympic lifts. Boy, they really don't want you grunting or dropping weights in there, huh?
5. The restriction of dumbbell weights to a maximum of 80 pounds. As I'm sticking to the plate machines until maintenance, I have no idea if anyone is trying to lift dumbbells over 80 pounds.
6. No squat racks. Huh?
7. The banning of chalk, often used for heavy lifts such as deadlifts. Haven't seen any chalk.
8. No jeans, bandannas, do rags, skullcaps, boots or sandals. Haven't seen any of these, either.
9. Must wipe down equipment after each use. There is a small laminated statement taped to all machines reminding members to wipe down the equipment with a cleanser-soaked paper towel before and after use, but some guys do a few sets, get up and walk away without wiping down the machine; you know the type. O Thank you, Beef God, for gracing us not only with Your magnificent presence here but also leaving the gift of Your essence on the machine. It ain't the nectar of the Gods, lunk head; wipe it down!
10. No gawking at women and making them feel uncomfortable or trying to pick them up. Never witnessed this. Guess I've been too busy casting furtive glances at the beefcake to notice whether they were hungry for cheesecake. But I don't openly gawk at guys or try to pick them up; part of being a Bear is respecting another man's masculinity and sexual orientation for what it is, and I'm actually there to work out.
11. Short or revealing attire for men or women is banned. Basic gym gear is worn; no one's wearing rectal floss or peeling their shirts off outside of the locker room.
12. References to sexual orientation or any other offensive conversation is prohibited. YAY! The only possible exception to this, which was absolutely warranted, was the day I was between sets on the rowing machine and watched as a fratboy walked into THE WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM to weigh himself. When he came out, his frat workout buddy said "I should weigh myself, too," and they both went back in. As they were coming out, a beefy bald guy said, "You do realize that that's the women's room, don't you? Are you women?" Alas, they were not women, just stupid. In their defense, the women's locker room is denoted by the Venus symbol for woman with an "F" in the center. Perhaps they weren't up on their astrological symbols and thought the F stood for Fratboy, I don't know. And the beefy guy did question their biological sex, not their sexual orientation, so he didn't break this rule.
13. No lewd acts or public affection on the premises. Did see a couple macking on one of the exercise benches one night and fleetingly thought "Get a room, or at least a tanning booth." That's about all the public affection I saw, and no lewd acts.
Their mission statement is also as follows: "We at PF are here to provide a unique environment in which anyone, and we mean anyone, can be comfortable. A diverse, judgment-free zone where a lasting, active lifestyle can be built. Our product is a tool, a means to an end; not a brand name or a mold maker, but a tool that can be used by anyone. In the end, it's all about you. As we evolve and educate ourselves, we will seek to perfect this safe, energetic environment, where everyone feels accepted and respected. We are not here to kiss your butt, only to kick it if that's what you need. We need you, because face it, our planet wouldn't be the same without you. You belong!"
It's been great to have a gym within ten minutes' driving distance from my apartment and ten minutes' walking distance from my parents' house. Although I'm usually there between 7 and 10 during the week, my branch opens at midnight on Monday, doesn't close until 9 pm on Friday and is open from 7 to 7 on Saturday and Sunday. I'm left alone to do my workouts, if someone else is using the plate machine I want I just move to the next machine until it vacates, the music is okay, there's never a wait for a treadmill and the people are cordial. In the locker room, there is a scale for weigh-ins and two closed shower stalls (although I shower at home!)
I did read other blogs and consumer reviews in gathering information about Planet Fitness for this entry and there are some very pissed off people out there who find the place and its rules too restrictive. Personally, I feel I lucked out in becoming a member of this particular franchise. I wanted to go to a gym where I could learn how to weight train and then be left alone to do it. I've never gotten attitude from the other members, the staff has never swooped in to ridicule anyone (one trainer did congratulate me on my perseverance about a month ago), and the lunk alarm has never gone off.
I appreciate the fact that this gym caters to people like me who want to work out without being judged. I've seen people there of all different ages, sizes and races working out on the plate machines, treadmills, stationary bikes and ellipticals, and there's even a 30-minute workout area with 10 machines and a traffic light where you either work out on a machine or step up and down on a central platform while the light's green and either wipe down the machine and breathe or prep on the next machine while the light's red. The free weight area is mostly populated by more experienced weightlifters but everyone is focused on exercising and there's no perceived hostility.
It's a good workout and, for me, a good place to work out.
Good night, Woof, and Blessed Be!
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